Monday, 15 June 2009

Two crap feminists sitting in a tree...

Alistair was feeling sick on Friday. He came home early from work, and I was still there surfing. Still no internet at home. He went straight up to bed for a couple of hours sleep... a playmate was meant to be coming over later. Before I left, I offered to return later to make him dinner if he felt too ill and had to cancel his date. He seemed pretty indifferent, and when I arrived home, I decided to think of myself for a change.
I called up a female friend from the fetish scene who I have only ever spoken to at parties. I heard she was going through a rough time with her man. We arranged to meet at a rock bar in town, and I texted Alistair to say that I was going out drinking. He immediately asked with whom, and I must confess that I neglected to answer.
I know. I know.
Red is a little younger than me, very cyber-goth, and looks like a voluptuous pixie. She is fiendishly clever, and a rather good artist. Her adhd means that she is constantly full of energy, and as I am tend to amble along, I found it quite refreshing. We discovered that we have so much in common, our interests, our warped and paranoid little minds, the fact that we both have men who are treating us in very similar ways, in comparable circumstances. It was wonderful to have someone to talk to who understood, both the nature of the situation, and how difficult it is to just walk. We both have terrible low self-esteem. We are both feminists, and spent a great deal of the evening analysing society... but we are crap feminists who are compelled to throw ourselves at the feet of men who treat us badly. The joke is that if we really believed we were half as good as people say we are, we would be formidable women indeed. I think we shall end up being extremely good friends, I really hope so. We plan to go clubbing soon to catch pretty long-haired boys. She likes them blonde, I like them dark. She is dom, I am (generally) sub, so watch out boys, here we come.
In other news, Alistair was far too ill on Saturday to party, so I had to run the show by myself (and nurse him). Sadly, I didn't get to have any fun. It was a small party, and I didn't feel like playing with anyone who was there. Great friends, but I just wasn't feeling it. Still, I zapped Red with the violet wand once or twice, and another boy was trussed up in a latex straightjacket, so it wasn't a total write-off ;-) .
On Sunday, Alistair and I spent a really nice evening curled up together watching The Fringe on his laptop. He was being quite snuggly and sweet with me (apart from when he was a bit irritable due to his illness). I think the niceness was due to the fact that I never did say who I met on the Friday. When I initially arrived at the beginning of the weekend, the first thing he commented upon was how happy I looked. This was genuine, and brought on by the wonderful time I had with Red. He had texted at the time to ask again who I was seeing, and asked if it was Kit. I responded by saying that it was more of a "cat". So, he thinks I was seeing a boy. When pressed on Saturday, I simply said that I had been with someone that I met a while ago, which was the truth. He immediately asked if I was going to fall in love with them. I said that I didn't know. Sad that it comes down to this. I actually partly wish that I would meet somebody else to fall utterly in love with.

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You kiss your mother with that mouth?