Yes Miss.

Hello perverts, peeping toms, and the vaguely curious.

Today, I find myself at Alistair's house supervising one of Mistress Max's slaves. She had a session booked in a dungeon somewhere else, so I agreed to make sure he keeps on task.

Unsurprisingly, last years Christmas tree has been languishing in the front drive, untouched and unmoved (well, except by nature, for it is well and truly deceased). Slave boy is required to chop it up and bag it up. It's taking him some time... I periodically pop my head out of the door and say in my bestest, firmest voice that he is doing a good job, etc. The sort of domination he likes is really not my style. So many boys want the whole barking, "you are not worthy, worm face" routine. Pish.

Vicious nothings whispered in a gentle voice fuck you up far far better.

Besides, who wants a wormy sub? Yuck. I want a sub with a pretty face and some self-worth. Pretty faces are far nicer to sit on. Although, if they are ugly, at least you don't have to look at them.

And that's just dandy. Now I am getting aroused. But there is just something so irresistable about a pretty boy with big, watery eyes, laying beneath you and pleading with you to fuck him.

I am in severe need of a fuck. The other night, I was also in severe need. I texted Alistair, but he was out with a group of mutual friends, drinking. Since I live across the road, I would have appreciated an invite. Instead I was alone on a Friday night, without sex. All that remained was to bring out the toys. It is truly amazing how many toys one can use on ones self, despite having only two hands.

As I have related to others, I nearly did myself a mischief.

On went the recent (semi) kinky flick I recently downloaded. The Violation of Kylie Ireland is noteworthy for several reasons. Firstly, it stars Kylie Ireland. I can't believe I now have a favourite (kinky) porn star. This is Kylie. She rocks. She is slightly older than the usual batch of vacant 23 year olds, and she is a little more voluptuous. She can also speak articulate English, and fit some impressive sized objects in her orifices. Since I have a bit of a thing for fisting, this pleases me.

Oddly enough, The Violation of Kylie Ireland is an unusual piece for me to watch, since it is a sort of lesbian gang-bang. However, the vague storyline, and some of the lines in general are so hilarious that one instantly falls in love. Moreover, its rapey-violence kinda hits the spot.

So I laughed, I cried, I pondered. Then I serviced myself. Now I will admit, I was a bit ambitious regarding the size of the implement I tried to shove up my arse. Especially as I was running a little low on lubricant. But I was determined, even in the face of injury.

The lesson is: If thou perservereth, thou wilt reach orgasm. Even if your cursed headpills mean that it takes a couple of hours...