Hello filthmongers, trauma-monkeys, you who secretly fantasise about me shoving something up your butt, and those who fantasise about wining, dining and making love to me all night long (for you are my favourites...)
This post is a tad off topic, and does not relate to perversity, romance, or emotional splurging. Due to this fact, if you hold out to the very end, I have included an old photograph of my breasts. Don't you even think about scrolling down until you have digested every word, motherfucker.
I have been pretty quiet of late because I have been drawing and painting. My friend runs a fetish club, and I am producing some artwork for her flyers. I guess this is my first ever commission. At the moment I am working on a piece for the vampire themed night, and think it is going rather well.
When I was young, I always thought that I would be an artist, but I never fitted the necessary mould when it came to studying it. I quit art A level because on the first day, my teacher told me that I draw "photographically" and that that would not get me very far on the course. The thing is, I am much more of an illustrator than anything else. I just don't do abstract. Well, I guess I could, but it just isn't me.
Anyway, I have decided that I am going to, well, be an artist. Whatever that means. I am scared, but I know it is something I have to do. I thought I was always meant to be a teacher, and then I trained, and realised that it is not for me (nothing to do with the kids, or teaching in itself, but that is another post). One of the reasons I have been so depressed of late is because I thought I would teach, and when it became apparent I would not, I felt like I had lost my direction, and part of my identity.
I had forgotten that before all of that, since I was a very little girl, people have said "That girl's an artist." And I knew I was, I just forgot it. I got older, and lost faith in my ability. I have recently gained a little more confidence again... But it is a frightening thing. I am not quite sure how to go about this, and I know that I'll probably never be a roaring success... All I know is that I have felt more comfortable and "right" than I have in months.
If anyone has any advice, now would be the moment to chuck it my way.
Thank you for your time and patience in reading this tame, clean post. And now as promised...
Yes, that really is me. Didn't think I was serious, did you?Though you can't quite see, I was blonde back then. We all make mistakes.
I cheated and scrolled down.
ReplyDeleteI went to a fetish club, had a wild, crazy night with a boy, and it was everything I wanted it to be.
He still emails me.
Cool. What was it called? I don't go to so many anymore, I attend private fetish parties usually. However my friend's club is really good.
ReplyDeleteI didn't cheat, but without wanting to sound like I'm 10, I like your boobs! And maybe, just maybe I've fantasised about you taking my anal virginity for a brief moment.
ReplyDeleteIf art is your passion you should follow it. Come what may, if it makes you happy, it makes sense doesen't it?
You're so brave, Maisie. It can be a huge and scary risk to follow your heart into a new career path. But I really feel like you're going to be just fine. You're a bloody creative woman, so trust yourself and know you'll be a success, no matter where things take you. I'd LOVE to see some of your work one day. I'll bet it's fucking brilliant.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't apologise for posting 'off topic'. It's your blog, and you can write about whatever the fuck you want. Personally, I loved this post. Although I'm not going to complain about you including that fantastic photo of your boobs as 'compensation'. I'm all flustered now. GAH! See what a pair of lovely breasts does to me?
@mysterg: Is it forward of me to say that I am glad you like my boobs? I fear that horse may have bolted...
ReplyDeleteOh, and if you want to be deflowered, I am your lady. Who can forget my famous "Girl Cock" post?
ReplyDeleteOne of these days I may just take you up on that offer.
ReplyDelete@mysterg: At least get to know me a little first... You seem like a London boy to me...
ReplyDeletei think it's only going to serve you well to follow your passion. i can feel your emotion from your words. even if you meant this post to be explanatory, it's very powerful. i'm sure that will translate in your art as well.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up. It's the only advice that works. No matter how hard it gets (and it will get very hard), don't give up. Do what you want, do what you love and don't let anyone tell you you shouldn't be.
ReplyDeleteArt does teach. And try to do in your art what you do with your life; it will work out well.
ReplyDelete@Teacup: Sorry, I missed responding to you! I must have been all flustered at the thought of you enjoying my bosom...
ReplyDeleteOnce again, you have said the nicest of things to me. You spoil me, you do. I hope to show you guys some stuff soon, though if I become famous, you will all know exactly who I am...
Lana: Thank you. Well, to be honest, I am not sure I have ever followed my heart in this way before, so here goes nothing...
@Tennyson: I have got a few people who will push me along, hopefully. Yep, it's gonna be tough. I suppose I just have to believe in myself. New territory...
LERMONTOV: Well, I do tend to draw women in various states of undress...
I always wanted to be a teacher, but I decided to do my degree in Afrikaans literature first and then finish my training. And when I started teaching, I hated it. All of it. I quit as soon as I could in fear of ruining some poor child's life. And now I'm at a crossroads in my life with that secret dream that's only always been my secret. I commend you for being so brave; you will be just fine :)
ReplyDelete@ladytruth: Teaching is awful on so many levels, isn't it? Did you find that most of the other teachers were absolute bastrards? I sure did. Perhaps we should make a pact to both follow our dreams? I am trying not to think about it too much, and just go for it.
ReplyDeleteNobody knows the secret to success - that much I know. I do, however, know the secret to unhappiness - which is settling for whatever seems "safe", or "sensible".
ReplyDeleteDo what makes you happy, do what you are good at, and do it with all your heart.
Hey, good to hear you are following your artistic dreams! It doesn't surprise me because of your good taste in pre-Raphaelite drawings.
ReplyDeleteAre you a 'realist'?
I have a day job, but can't wait to do art at night and on the weekends. Usually mine is stone and clay sculpture though, my drawing / painting is only 'ok' right now.
Interesting I recently had a discussion with a career counselor about being a history teacher. She said this was probably a bad option for me, considering the teaching field is mostly full. Except for special needs, and I don't know how much I'd like that...
ReplyDeleteCan you paint Maisie? I can draw but my painting ability is somewhat wanting.
OK, I am highly impressed...you said you had blonde hair then? Didn't even notice...fabulous pic, Maisie :)
ReplyDelete@OM: Thank you very much. Yes, alas, I did have blonde hair of the peroxide kind. Actually I am a natural blonde, but it will stay black forever now... I really glad you liked the pic.
ReplyDelete