Did you ever meet somebody who seems to exude goodness and warmth, strength and frailty? Somebody, who, when you look into their eyes, you see something there that sets them apart?
It was during March that I first laid eyes on Courtney. Alistair and I had thrown a party, and one of our friends had asked to bring someone with him. Alistair had met this person once before and recalled him being nice enough, but not that "fetishy". I was apprehensive... our friend had brought people along before, and I had wished he hadn't.
I took a little longer to get ready than is usual, and people had started to arrive by the time that I made it downstairs. As I recall, I was wearing my pink rubber baby-doll, (which has no relevance to the story). I walked into the living room, and there, sat at the table, was this slender yet wiry man. Apart from his boyish, very good looks (if Alistair has a picture in the attic keeping the wrinkles at bay, Courtney must pop to Never-Never Land each night... And these seem to be very appropriate comparisons. If faced with the question of whom best fits either Dorian Gray, or Peter Pan, the answer is very obvious). As I was saying, apart from his boyish good-looks, Courtney stood out due to a distinct lack of fetish-gear. He was wearing slightly baggy jeans, and a t-shirt, and was carefully rolling a spliff. I said a fleeting hello, and our paths did not cross much for the rest of the evening.
Until the dungeon. This was the night where Alistair had ever so slightly forgotten that it is rude to ignore the lady you are "with", whilst spending the whole night feeling up/abusing a newer girl. When faced with a situation like this, I did the only thing I could. I grabbed the pretty Courtney, put some eyeliner on him, and basked in his cuteness. I then proceeded to electrocute him with a violet wand, and later, attempt to fuck him in the medical room with a strap-on. Having never been "seen to" in this way, and given that we were both severely wasted, it was more a painful semi-rape. Courtney and I still look back on it wistfully, as he backs out of the room. To be honest, I didn't get very far, his little arse was way too tight.
Prior to the raping, we had spent some time getting better acquainted, and continued this, post-raping. We had an instant rapour, and that night/morning, I became friends with a very remarkable young man. It is quite disarming to have somebody who looks so young, and at times, innocent, speak as intelligently and profoundly as Courtney does.
Around this time, I realised that I could no longer go on living in the place that I was, as the people were driving me insane. It transpired that Courtney had a room that would soon be vacant in his flat, and the rest, as we say, is history.
In the time that I have lived with him, I have come to know a boy who is both extremely damaged, and extremely strong. In one of our conversations, I have said to him that some people seem to be touched by life more. Are more sensitive to the brutality of the world. Not that the world does not have its beauty. Courtney is one of those people. He is intensely smart and artistic, he has a studio and works in the sound industry. He is extremely "spiritual", and has achieved that rarity of speaking about such things, and not producing either a smirk or look of disdain on my atheist face. In fact, sometimes when he speaks of such things, I find myself wondering.
He is perhaps the most empathic person that I have ever met, and seems to be able to penetrate to a person's core, and know what they are thinking, feeling, what motivates them. He certainly knows exactly what to say to me, and when to say it. He sometimes seems to realise my thoughts even before I realise I am having them myself... And he has been wonderfully supportive of me throughout this twisted romantic soap-opera.
Courtney is an amazing, fascinating individual. I am lucky to know him, and live with him.