It 'Aint Half Hot, Mum...

Whatever happened to Maisie and Alistair? Did she finally leave him, never to speak to him again? Did he see the error of his ways? Did they elope and live happily ever after in a bubble of perverted bliss?

I am not telling. Yet.

Suffice to say, they are currently in Cyprus, and it is very, very hot.

Obviously, things can't carry on in too normal a fashion, so just to add a bit of spice, Alistair took me to his ex's father's place to stay. He lives in Cyprus with his partner. I must say that they are very lovely, caring, considerate, hospitable people. I was worried that the weird factor would be too much for me, but I have been having a blast, largely because I am getting on so well with the ex's father's partner. She is a straight-talking Scottish lady, with a wonderful sense of humour.

Alistair is spending most of the time working. We got our flights on the cheap, and this was all intended as a bit of a working holiday for us. An opportunity to do what must be done in a beautiful environment. The villa is perfectly placed, so one can sit and work on the verandah, with a view of the mountains, which sweep down to the town, which sweeps down to the sea.

I have been snorkelling, which I had never done before, and even better, I have been learning to scuba dive. The ex's father, let's call him Robert, is an assistant diving instructor. I am loving every minute. For me, it's all about feeling as if I am in my very own wildlife documentary. Those who know me are well aware of my obsession with the animal kingdom, and scuba diving has given me the opportunity to explore a world that I thought I would never see for myself. And it is breathtaking.

In addition to all of this, Robert's partner, Pearl, has taken me to see the animal shelter and sanctuary. I was so impressed with this place. Cyprus is not famous for its appreciation of animal welfare, and so the tiny, dedicated team have the odds stacked against them. In their small, rather barren plot of land, they manage to care for horses, donkeys, goats, dogs, and cats. The cat shelter is awesome. Most of the animals never get rehomed, and so they have come up with a good idea to cope with this problem. The cats have a large, immaculately clean hut, with bed, food, and toilet facilities, from which they can come and go as they please. Only the very young, or sick, are kept locked in. The cats never leave, because they receive such good care. The only trouble is that all are a little thinner than I would like. This is because the shelter struggles for money, and has just enough to keep all of them running. When we visited, the cats evidently miss human affection, because when I sat on a rock to adjust my shoe, about 6 of them jumped on me, purring, and snuggling, and refusing to budge. I was in heaven.

The Shelter is in Paphos. Please visit their website, http://www.cyprusanimalwelfare.com/ www.facebook/paphiakos